Neko

Anonymous said: I want to die

blendedofficial:

Great question!

BLENDED stars Funnyman Adam Sandler and America’s Sweetheart Drew Barrymore! It hits theaters nationwide May 23!

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davidstrider:

carcinoantagonist:

I’LL MOCK YOUR PASTIMES IN WHATEVER WAY I SEE FIT AND YOU CAN SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR GAPING MAW, YOU ROTTING PILE OF SLUDGE.

YOU SHOULD TRY PLAYING KEY QUEST.  I WANT TO SEE YOU LIVEBLOG KEY QUEST.  GO TO ‘GAMES’ AND CLICK ON THE TAB THAT SAYS ‘KEY QUEST’, IT IS PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY.

I AWAIT YOUR REACTION WITH MY CHIN PILLOWED PLEASANTLY ON MY FOLDED HANDS.

why does neopets require so much reading holy fucking shit

i only have a high school diploma?? im not going to remember any of this

anyway you never gave me your username you bourgeois fuck

oh my god i thought i was done with the instructions but they were just a warm up to the actual instructions page

im going to destroy you karkat vantas i am going to destroy you and then annihilate your dusty remains

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carcinoantagonist said: YES, THIS IS GOOD. THROW YOURSELF INTO THE BROKEN ECONOMY AND FUCK YOURSELF UP THE WASTE CHUTE WITH THE CHARRED REMAINS OF CHILDREN'S DREAMS, CRUELLY CRUSHED BY LATE-MARKET CAPITALISM. I BELIEVE IN YOU.

carcinoantagonist:

davidstrider:

wait what

i thought you made me sign up so we could make our neopets yiff each other

are you telling me youre not gonna rp anthro dong-touching with my oc carsthemovie

"AHHHH BBBY," CARSTHEMOVIE CROWED AS HE THRUST HIS THROBBING MEMBER INTO TE WOCKYS DOWNY FUR, OHHHH BAYB MARTYMFCFLY SCKREAMED IN RESPONSE

OUR NEOPETS HAVE NOW YIFFED IN TYPICAL SHITTY FORMAT, MY ONLY REGRET IS THAT I COULD NOT IMPRESS YOU MORE BY JUXTAPOSING THIS EYESORE WITH COMIC SANS.  NEVER MAKE ME TYPE ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN.  IF YOU WANT YOU CAN SCREENSHOT THIS AND JACK OFF TO IT LATER WITH WILD ABANDON, I KNOW IT’S PRETTY EROTIC STUFF.

NOW THAT WE’RE PAST THAT, YOU HAVE TO BECOME ANOTHER COG IN THE MACHINE OF CAPITALISM, WATCH YOUR NEOPETS STARVE AND WAIL FOR MERCY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.  WATCH THE RICH NEOPIANS STRUT AROUND WITH THEIR 300+ EXPENSIVE AVATARS AND GAUDY NEOCASH, LEAVING BEHIND JIZZY TRAILS OF FROTHING ICHOR IN THEIR WAKE.  EVERYTHING THEY TOUCH DIES.

I AM ONE OF THEM.  I AM THE RICH MAN, DAVE, I WILL FUCKING OWN YOU.

you know what no im better than this. my pastimes deserve to be mocked in a much less haphazardly derisive fashion karkat, youre leaving me unfulfilled

sigh

ill let it slide for now but dont you dare think this will be acceptable next time

anyway i think youre vastly overestimating my ability to navigate this website. ive accidentally logged myself out twice and tbh i think that is from whence i am siphoning the most pleasure out of my neopets experience

i think at one time this was probably a website that actual real nine year olds could use but over the years they just kept slapping on new appendages and now its the wretched conglomerate of website features that stands before us today

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carcinoantagonist said: DAVE, MAKE A NEOPETS ACCOUNT.

am i doing this right

→ Apr 18 2014 / PERMALINK

my birds been stomping on my face for the past four hours and ive been yawning nonstop and he just tried to clean my teeth for me god discriminate against featherbrains

enter my mouth without my permission one more time and ill eat you

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ruinedchildhood:

me as a teacher

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(Source: 90s90s90s)

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fuck its so cringeworthy whenever i accidentally say yolo in public

dont be like me and live your life seven steps removed from the original joke youll just sound stupid i am the president of pretentious fartbags and no one is my vp because no one can handle the repercussions of being seen with me 

→ Apr 18 2014 / PERMALINK

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x

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(Source: stephaniecoco)

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(Source: odochar)

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358 plays

musictotumblto:

childish gambino.freaks and geeks

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(Source: bobschofield)

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naruto uzumaki deserves to be in time 100 way more than benedict cumberbatch does 

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