Neko

nope

i dont take nearly enough self-loathing pills in the morning to qualify for such a regimen

sorry to collapse your meticulously sleuthed house of cards but im definitely not askdaveanddaves 

shout-out to that guy/those guys tho why are we so fucking awesome

tie between tasting my own burps and the sexual thing you were hoping id answer this with

depends

we can only visit you if youre fictional we dont do that real life shit

the real life universe looks ratchet as fuck

the words youre looking for are “manly enough to kill grizzly bears with a glance from ten paces”

(right in the kisser)

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

magic

sparkly bullshit magic

magic so real that its slightly less fake than usual

magic as heartily existent as the giggles of all the cherubs in heaven and the metric tonnes of special stardust they consume each day to fuel their laughter

magic to be believed with the conviction of a million frothing zealots and the combined pranks of a billion leprechauns strong and in the tiny erections they get from playing them

rufio is how

its entirely possible to “holden caulfield is gay” “jay gatsby is gay” and “macbeth is a gigantic gay” your way through most high schools

in fact i recommend it

aw shout-out to vitamincircuit4000 for posting stuff and shout-out to me and john for reblogging that stuff great teamwork everyone

ok but only cause you asked

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ive already proposed to john three times and hes already proposed to me twice (once with a taco bell sauce packet)

im thinking we might actually get married the twentieth time around

its too late for sorry im already psychologically wounded

im psychologically bleeding all over your oriental heirloom rug

you said my roots looked #ratchet

im in the process of redyeing ok dont be a bully

thats so 4th grade