i cant believe you guys are born encased in stuff literally called cheesy varnish
have a kid buy a house and pay taxes or something
im hoping to do something with photography or maybe short films but i dont want it to balloon into anything too big
i wouldnt mind being a lyricist for a band or do some collabs for cash
maybe i could teach kids self-defense or some shit. i worked at a dojo as a summer job in high school
also im kind of a photog/journalism major for some reason so theres that route too
i was going to say that if i cant have any of that then ill take an office job but then i realized no
probably me in a past life/an incarnation of me in some way lbr
wow fuck me this thing is $23
nothings hotter than me accidentally kneeing john in the stomach when were trying to do it or sneezing when he asks me a dirty question or talking about my feelings while hes giving me a hummer
13. Do you get jealous easily?
its not cute and im not proud of it but yeah
72. What words do you like to hear during sex?
i either like to be told im the best and that im doing really well and that im making the other person really happy or i like to be told that im their bitch and other sentiments of that sort that you guys can figure out on your own because whoa is it embarrassing in here or is that just
ok other numbers i got: “70, 71, 72?” “33 ;)” “70-72, 78” “7, 29, 30” “66, 69, 70” “69. 70. 71. Haha.” “26-29” ill dump it all here for you sweaty handed pervs
83. Who was your first kiss with?
jade but i wouldnt talk to her much about it or ask her about it because it was kind of traumatic on account of me bleeding everywhere and also being a piece of dead swiss cheese
i kissed her again later which was nicer and she cried bc she was happy
56. State 8 facts about your body
im 5’6”-5’7” (one) shoe size something (two) my shoulders are pretty broad (three)
at one point in my childhood i thought you could block a sword by its blade with your bare hand and be ok but thats not how life works so i have a light scar across my palm (four)
im not as ripped as i want to be (five)
my skin is fanfuckingtastic like proactiv should pay me millions of dollars to pretend ive used their products (six)
my original hair color was a very very pale white blonde i guess because of pseudoalbinism (seven) my hair is pink now though (eight)
51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
someone else also asked me twenty wtf im not that gross
15. Do you have any piercings?
17. Do you like kissing in public?
hell yes but i acknowledge its uncomfortable for other people so john and i mostly dont other than quick cheek smooches or something
the exception would be if like we were in times square and john just started making out w me (i really like when he does spontaneous stuff for me it warms the menthol out of my grinchy heart)
new yorkers dont give a shit bout nothing so itd be ok
20. Do you shower every day?
close enough to every day?? dont grill me on it tho
i hate feeling greasy and ive never had an acne problem but i dont want to tempt fate bc every time i only get negative returns
60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?
ive never dated anyone significantly older than me or younger than me
im def not a cradlerobber in any way like everyone ive dated has been within a year of me
and then i guess in the realm of hypotheticalia im not really bothered by dating people older than me as long as the age gap doesnt exceed 20 years
61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?
uhhh usually whether they seem like an asshole or not (i have a douchebag detector sort of like a metal detector thing that i wave over people and see if it beeps or not) and then i go from there
62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
fuck john marry jade rose is peering at my computer screen from over my shoulder right now
im indifferent to turgid
i use it a lot bc its the right amount of almost gross to be just my aesthetic and basically my entire life is toeing the line between funny and disgusting
utterly makes me feel like im turning up my snotty nose at the audience and thats a good connotative device for when i feel bourgeois
moist isnt as bad as creamy but i just thought about the words moist and creamy in conjunction and my dick receded into my body