Neko

jonathanegbert said: you're not punk and i'm telling everyone.

no dont ive already gone through so much today

(“you didnt do anything but wake up and use the internet”)

ive gone through too much

→ Apr 14 2014 / PERMALINK

(6 notes) jonathanegbert
jonathanegbert said: please stop quoting naruto when we have sex.

only when you let me get in that ass like one thousand years of pain

→ Mar 30 2014 / PERMALINK

(84 notes) jonathanegbert
jonathanegbert said: do you ever fear for the safety of your nipples?

thats an incredibly loaded question

→ Mar 24 2014 / PERMALINK

jonathanegbert replied to your post: Read More →

you’re so fucking disgusting.

→ Mar 18 2014 / PERMALINK

(4 notes) jonathanegbert
jonathanegbert said: hey dude. i don't want to be too forward, but you have a nice ass, you should call me sometime. because i am flirting with you.

can someone please tell me if johns flirting with me i cant tell

→ Mar 7 2014 / PERMALINK

(13 notes) jonathanegbert
jonathanegbert said: so i got a little bit drunk last night, and i wrote you a song, and i remember it, for the most part anyway.

aw what thats adorable

serenade me egbert sing my virtues

→ Mar 4 2014 / PERMALINK

jonathanegbert replied to your post: do i do healthy things for myself beca…

do it because you are a good person and you take good care of yourself, i love you.

ok

ily2

→ Feb 20 2014 / PERMALINK

(6 notes) jonathanegbert

jonathanegbert replied to your post: anonymous asked:whats the perfect…

that sounds a little like last sunday.

[loud blaring alarms start to sound] [i slam my hand on a big red button] [all twenty computer monitors flashing esoteric graphics recede into the background and sections of mechanized drywall slide into place in front of them] (ive been found out) (fuck) haha how long have you been here

→ Feb 13 2014 / PERMALINK

(6 notes) jonathanegbert
jonathanegbert said: i'm gonna fuck you like the broncos fucked the first play of the game.

→ Feb 2 2014 / PERMALINK

jonathanegbert replied to your post:

just casually scoot your seat over 2 inches every class period and before you know it, they won’t be an issue.

id have to rip my seat out of its metal/concrete connection to the ground to scoot it over but since youre my loving spouse that i value before all else ill do it

→ Jan 28 2014 / PERMALINK

(6 notes) jonathanegbert

blogger on the streets

blogger in the sheets

→ Jan 22 2014 / PERMALINK

(38 notes) jonathanegbert
jonathanegbert said: DON'T GET SMUG ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOUR DICK.

→ Jan 22 2014 / PERMALINK

(14 notes) jonathanegbert save
jonathanegbert said: the straightest thing two best friends can ever do is compare dicks.

next youll be asking me to show you how to kiss so when you do it with a girl for realsies she wont dump her latte in your hair or get rushed off to reconstructive facial surgery

→ Jan 22 2014 / PERMALINK

jonathanegbert said: dude, i think my nipples have been kidnapped.

im not encouraging this omg

wipe the concealer off your nipples before rose finds out what you did with her dr jart water bb cream

its not even your color 

→ Jan 21 2014 / PERMALINK

(11 notes) jonathanegbert

what john failed to mention when he linked to my nge theory post is that im right and my vast knowledge of the evangelion universe is attractive and valuable

→ Jan 18 2014 / PERMALINK

(2 notes) jonathanegbert