wrec:

unclefather:

wassupstyles:

What if youre giving a bj in the shower and he just starts shampooing and conditioning your hair 

very polite

how thoughtful

(Source: dirtyluxury)

(Source: coca-cola)

(Source: madeleineishere)

i followed marty

gay-men:

In support of marriage equality, Ben & Jerry have teamed up with Stonewall to create Apple-y Ever After. On their website they state that “Social justice is at the core of our values. Since our humble beginning 34 years ago, Ben & Jerry’s has been an advocate for equal rights.” 

bless

dealie:

peeing on obscure bands to mark your territory

Dave’s wake up alarm is set to repeat ten times.

He doesn’t wake up until about an hour after the last repeat.

jonathanegbert:

davidstrider:

jonathanegbert:

davidstrider:

jonathanegbert:

davidstrider:

jonathanegbert:

i think i could melt into a puddle of unrivaled embarrassment this morning.

stabilize your tempestuous mammary glands

look imma just rewind

and delete that brodak moment from my mental bank

better?? good

theres a cake downstairs with our name on it literally

i have a feeling it won’t be that easy…but okay.

ew, cake. can’t we make waffles or something instead?

hmm

only if youve got the nasty instant kind otherwise dont count on my assistance

but come on your dad made a perfectly edible tiramisu

we’ve got frozen waffles! 

dave i am not eating another cake. i will not budge.

well ok you have those frozen waffles

meanwhile ill happily partake in the blood sweat and tears that manifest in this cake

mmm delicious

you go over to the dark side so quickly. i am wary of your intentions. maybe i will roll out that air mattress for you tonight. 

//sticks out tongue// 

did i just set the world record for tapdancing out of a beaus good graces

seems kind of odd to let your dad bake all these cakes only to have them decompose

// He pauses, halfway through the motion of his first bite of cake. After a spark of inspiration, he drags his fingers through the beautiful icing and flashsteps next to John to deposit a dollop of it on his tongue. It’s not completely his fault if John insists on providing a landing strip for Mischief Airlines. //

fine ill have some eggos too then

// Dave: ==> Prepare to get whooped upside the head. //